Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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