I must be too annoying 4 u.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
