apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
