it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
