You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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