Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
