so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
