the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
