I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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