even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
