so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
