In the future we'll all be gay
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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