Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize