I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
