Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
