I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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