WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
