Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
