he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
