I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize