Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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