quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
