she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
