i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
