I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize