Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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