So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
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