Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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