My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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