I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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