Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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