Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
