i think my tv is drunk
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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