omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
