a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
