conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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