Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
