I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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