just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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