we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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