Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
