But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
