In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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