they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
