So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
