Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
