i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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