First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
