I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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