I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
