Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Fuck appropriateness.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
