I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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