I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize