Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
