I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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