The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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