after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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