I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
