Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize