How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Terrible idea I love it
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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