I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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