I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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